The Saiko Route: The Setup
by todpolle
Summary: A small collection of SMG4 oneshots about Tari and Saiko before their wedding. Cover by Tony
1. Saiko Need Love Advice

It was a normal day in the Mushroom Kingdom, blocks were floating, goombas were doing goomba things, and Meggy was helping Tari carry her new sound system through downtown.

"Thanks for helping me with this, Meggy. I didn't think I could carry this on my own." Tari thanked.

"No problem. But you could exercise your arms more. And no, button mashing does not count" Meggy joked. As they went, they heard the artificial screams of Bob heading towards them.

"Meggy! The other one! You got to hide me!" Bob said trying to get behind Meggy. "No matter what anyone says, I didn't do anything." Before either of them asked, Saiko was running towards them with a lamp post and grab Bob by the throat.

"Seriously, Bob. You had some nerve pulling that stunt." Saiko threatened.

"It was just a prank." He pleaded

"Really? CAUSE I'M NOT LAUGHING!"

"What did Bob do this time?" Meggy asked.

"Hi guys. If you want to know, I was just minding my own business at the mall, doing some errands, signing autographs. Then this trash bag somehow gets on the loudspeaker and called me, what was it? Oh yeah. A short-tempered, impulsive, destructive, self-centred, murderous psychopath. to the entire mall!"

"You did just chased me across the kingdom. with a lamppost." Bob commented so Saiko tightened her grip. Tari let go of the box, causing Meggy to drop the box and crush her foot, as Tari got between the two.

"Saiko, let him go. Please." Tari pleaded. Saiko sighed and let Bob go who ran as soon as free. "Wait, Bob. You need to apologise." She shouted. When Bob was gone,she sees Saiko getting the box off Meggy and slumping onto the sidewalk. Seeing how upset she was, they sat next to her.

"Meggy. Tari." Saiko started. "Am I a psychopath?"

"Well, you haven't killed anyone in months so that's something to be proud of." Meggy said, rubbing her injured foot.

"But is it good enough. What if I meet someone I like and I screw it up again like with Boopkins."

"Are you scared of not finding a boyfriend." Tari asked. Saiko nodded so Tari hugged her. "Saiko, you shouldn't be worried about that. You have friends who care about you."

"I know. But I just want to know someone who'll love me more than a friend. Someone who I can wake up to and enjoy evenings with. Someone who makes me feel...complete, you know."

"Nope." Meggy responded. "Never been interested in romance."

"But aren't you and Mario a thing?"

"NO!" Meggy screech in shock "Who said that we were?"

"Everyone does." Saiko told her and Meggy just screamed into the cosmos. During that, Tari grabbed Saiko's hand and looked directly into her eyes.

"Saiko. You may overreact at times, but you're very passionate about the things you like. And although you hate to admit, you're one of the most caring people I know. I'm sure you can make any man you fall for happy." Tari told her and this seemed to brighten Saiko up.

"You're right. I am amazing. And I'm gonna prove that trash bag wrong."

"Yeah." Meggy and Tari cheered.

"After we take my sound system home." Tari reminded.

**:3 Meeting People :3**

Saiko was sitting on a bench in the park with Meggy and Tari looking for targets for Saiko's affection.

"So lets try something easy." Meggy explained."Just go up to someone and talk to them."

"Are you sure this is a good idea. Last time I did that, I gave them a heart attack." Saiko told her.

"It's just talking. it's not that hard. Look even Luigi can do it." Meggy said pointing to Luigi giving a yellow Princess some flowers but then fainting when she giggle. "Okay, not a good example. But what about Bowser?" Pointing to Bowser kidnapping Peach again. "How about Mario?" Pointing to Mario having a picnic with spaghetti and singing it a song. "It's kinda pathetic that's the best example"

"Don't let Meggy scare you Saiko. Why don't you try talking to that guy over there." Tari suggested, pointing to the pile of cuboids shaped like a blue shirted man. Saiko just shrugged and approached said man.

"So... Seen anything beautiful, handsome?" Saiko flirted but the man just stared blankly at her. "I'm talking about me." But the man kept staring and it was starting to creep her out. And as she opened her mouth, the man pushed her to the ground. When she got up, she say the man flirting with a pigeon.

"So. Come here often?" He flirted to the bird who just tweeted. And then Saiko threw a rock at said bird.

**:3 Online Dating :3**

In Meggy's apartment, Meggy was setting up a dating profile for Saiko.

"Okay, all set. Now all we do is wait." Meggy said as she finished up.

"Does this actually work?" Saiko commented, sceptical of the whole idea.

"Not sure. I tried setting this up up for Luigi but he never told me how his dates went." Meggy said. Saiko was heading out the door when Meggy shouted, "You got request." And Saiko shoved her out of the way to read it.

"He wants to meet me now! Sorry Meggy, gotta go." and ran out the house to the meeting point in Green Hill Zone. When she got there, she spotted a blue hedgehog looking robot in the middle of the field. "Are you Metal Sonic?"

"_PSYCHOPATH. HOLD HANDS."_ Metal Demanded.

"And now I'm leaving." Saiko said but Metal just grabbed her hand and stood perfectly still. "What are doing you pervert!?"

"_QUIET. HE'LL BE HERE SOON."_ The robot commanded as a blue hedgehog-shaped blur zip by but then reversed back when he spotted the duo.

"Uh... Who's your friend, Metal?" The hedgehog asked in confusion.

"_AT LAST, SONIC. I HAVE DONE SOMETHING YOU CAN NEVER ACHIEVE. I GOT A HUMAN GIRLFRIEND."_ Metal gloated and Sonic just gave the doppelganger the most 'I don't care' look possible.

"Alright."

"_YOUR JEALOUSLY IS DELICIOUS. NOW I KNOW I AM THE SUPERIOR SONIC, SINCE NOT ONLY DO I HAVE FRIEND BUT FRIEND LOVES ME MORE THAN ANY ONE ELSE, NO MATTER HOW TALL YOU GET. "_

"I didn't get taller. Your girlfriend just tore you apart when you were monologing." Sonic told Metal who just realised his body was scattered across the field.

Saiko meanwhile was sitting on a bench, still angry of her date when she saw Luigi on the other side of the bench. "Cat-fished again?" she asked.

"Yeah..."

**:3 Speed Dating :3**

Saiko was in a cafe that was holding a speed dating event. After the rules were explained, the first man sat across from her. A blond man in green.

"What's your name gorgeous?" She asked but the man just responded with a yell which left Saiko bewildered. "Uh... What you do for a living?" Another yell. "Where you from?" Another yell. "This is going to be a long five minutes."

_Ding_

The second man was a big, goat man and the two seem to be hitting it off.

"So you're rock star?I bet your parents are proud." The goat man said.

"You know, I don't even know if I have parents. An anime fan let me out of my game so we can date. Until he broke up with me." Saiko told him

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Was my fault anyway. But we still friends and is very supportive of me."

"Wow. Must be nice to still be friends with..." the goat stopped talking and soon began to cry. "Why won't you take me back, Toriel!?" and the man just broke down into tears. Saiko just felt awkward as she had no idea what to do right now.

_Ding_

"That last one wasn't too bad. Maybe this evening might actually be nice." Saiko said to herself with a bit of optimism. And then the next person who sat down was a shy guy. "Hello little fella. What your name?"

"YEAH TOAST!"

"Oh'no."

_Ding  
_  
"Here's what I do. I seat on you."

_Ding_

"Pingas."

_Ding_

"Wha? Who's there?"

_Ding_

"PIZZA!"

_Ding_

"Rasins."

_Ding_

"Baby. Baby. Baby."

_Ding_

"Babies, Babies, Babies."  
_  
Ding_

"Stupid, stupid babies "

_Ding_

"Are you okay, Saiko?" Tari said getting Saiko out of her increasing rage.

"Finally, a friendly face!" Saiko said hugging the gamer. "I thought I was going to snap. Almost everyone here is a one dimensional headache."

"Do you want to go home? There's nothing to be ashamed of leaving."

"Maybe. Seeing you has calmed me down. I might give it another shot."

"That's the spirit. Now get ready cause the next one could be the one."

"Yeah!. Bring him on."

_Ding._

Saiko straightened herself out and gave her best smile as a man in a blue jumpsuit and red helmet sat across from her. "Hello. I'm Saiko. What's your name?"

"Show me you boobs." he said and Saiko's smile turned into shocked fury.

Meanwhile, Tari was talking to her date about games when Saiko tapped her shoulder. "We're leaving."

"Oh, okay." Tari said and the two left, ignoring the burning body at Saiko's table.

**:3 Blind date:3**

Meggy and Tari were taking Saiko to the mall to meet someone. "So who's this date you arranged? Should I be worried?" Saiko asked.

"We just looked for your biggest fan on the and asked if they wanted to hang out with you." Meggy explained.

"You're setting me up with a fanboy?"

"Only the best we can find. They should be in the plaza and we told them to wear one of your shirts and to carry one of your balloons so you could spot them. Oh, and their forum name is 'OctopusDestiny'."

"Oh, god. It's one of those people."

"Relax, Saiko. It's going to be okay. If you need any help we'll be in the arcade." Tari told her and she and Meggy left Saiko alone. When she got to the plaza, she spotted someone reading a magazine that was wearing her shirt and holding her balloon.

"Excuse me. Are you 'OctopusDestiny?'" Saiko asked the person.

"So what if I am. You got a problem." The person retorted.

"I was told you wanted to meet me."

"Yeah, I doubt I was suppose to meet a..." the person lowered their magazine and their eyes grew wide when they saw Saiko. The fanboy was not a fanboy at all but a fangirl with purple octopus hair, tanned skin and yellow eyes. "It's you. It's actually you!" the girl said, shaking her hand enthusiastically. "I'm Desti."

"Like destiny. Cute pun."

"Thanks." The two were silent for moment as they didn't know what to do. "Want to get a smoothie." And the two were then having smoothies and sharing tales from their past.

"Wait. You actually tried to get Mario on your team?" Saiko laughed.

"Have you seen that fat idiot in a match? He's a much better player than he looks."Desti tried to explain.

"Okay, okay. I believe you. I just thought Meggy keeps him around cause he's her friend. Have you heard about this rumour that there a couple?"

"They are? I thought I was making fun of them."

"Well Meggy seems to deny it" Saiko explains while she drank her smoothie. "I need to use the bathroom. I'll see you in a sec."

After Saiko left the bathroom, she saw Desti was surrounded by 3 sinister looking octolings, with teal hair and what looked like night vision googles Desti was in trouble, Saiko swooped in and bashed the girls with her hammer.

"Are you okay? They didn't hurt did they?" Saiko asked concerned. Desti just stared at her before she slap her across the face.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

Meanwhile, Meggy was recording Tari playing 2 player Time Crisis by herself. when they the commotion outside. They looked outside and saw Desti creaming her head off at Saiko.

"But... weren't they goons about to attack you?" Saiko thought.

"NO! They were my teammates!" Desti shouted.

"But they had night vision goggles indoors. And they looked the same."

"It's called fashion you...you..psychopath!" Desti called her. Before Saiko could respond, Desti started to walk away. Rejected started to leave. And as she walked, she started to tear up and as she ran out of the mall.

-

Saiko was back in her apartment, crying her eyes out on her bed when she heard a knock on the door. "Go away!" she snapped. She then heard the front door open so she took out her hammer and entered the living room and saw Tari standing there with one of her games. "What do you want?"

"Well, Meggy went to check on your date to make the'res no legal problem so I came here to see how your doing." Tari explained.

"I'm miserable, now go away."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." And Saiko banged her bedroom closed and went back to bed. Her bedroom door was then opened and Tari sat on the bed next to her and gave her a hug.

"It's okay. You'll find someone someday.

"No I won't. That was the best date I had and I f***ed it up. Bob was right. I am a short-tempered, impulsive, destructive, self-centred, murderous psychopath." Saiko cried as Tari held her til she calmed down.

"You know what cheers me up when I'm sad?"

"Playing games."

"Playing games!" Tari said as Saiko answered.

"I'm not in the mood Tari. Just leave me alone."

"Come on. It's a fun, easy game that I know you'll. LEGO Die Hard."

"If I say yes and play for a bit, would you go away." Saiko asked and Tari nodded her head. Sighing, Saiko got up and joined Tari on the couch as she got the game set up. As they played, the two were enjoying poking fun at the violence, the puzzle and just each others jokes.

-

Later Meggy show up at the apartment and since the door was unlocked, she let herself in.

"Saiko, Are you home?. Your door was opened." She saw that the TV was on when went looked around so she turn it off. When she turned away from the TV, she saw Saiko and Tari sleeping on the couch with Saiko holding onto the gamer like her life depended on it.. Meggy felt her heart warm up at the sight so she got a blanket from Saiko's room and left it on top the pair before she left them alone to enjoy their company.


	2. The Date Heist

In the Mario House, Luigi and Fishy Boopkins were helping Saiko get ready for her date tonight. Saiko was wearing a long red dress, brown boots, fishnet sleeves, and her hair was tied into a ponytail by a red bow.

"As proud as I am for you getting a date, can I ask why your getting ready in my house?" Luigi asked.

"Cause I want a second opinion and I can't find Meggy." Saiko told him while putting on her lipstick.

"I'm so happy for you Saiko." Boopkins said. "Who's the lucky guy?" Saiko was quiet for a moment.

"Tari." She answered.

"That's great." Boopkins cheered and hugged Saiko. "Two of my best friends are going to be a couple."

"Are you nervous? This is you first date in a long time." Luigi noted.

"Of course I'm nervous! If I mess this up, she'll never want to see me again. She might cut me off from my other friends or say horrible things about me to my fans or…or…"Saiko ranted until Luigi grabbed her by the shoulders and started to shake her.

"Calm down, Saiko. Nothing bad is going to happen. Just breath and think happy thoughts, alright."

"Luigi..." Saiko said, calming down and looking grateful, gently holding onto Luigi's hands. Then she began to glare and crush said hands. "What did I say about 'personal space'."

"To not cross it..." He gulped as Saiko let him go.

"Saiko, you know Tari isn't like that." Boopkins said. "She isn't going to stop being friends with you if you embarrass yourself."

"You guys are right. I don't know what I'm worried about. I made it this far and I can go all the way." Saiko declared and marched proudly out the door. And came straight back in. "Hey, Luigi, you're not doing anything today, right. How about you come help me with this. Thank you" she 'offered' and dragged Luigi with her before he could respond. As they left, Mario came in.

"Since when was Luigi able to get a girlfriend? Hi, Boopkins. What are you doing here?" Mario said.

"Me and Luigi were just helping Saiko with get ready for her date." Boopkins said which shocked the fat plumber.

"First Luigi has a girlfriend then this! Is this the end of the world?!"

"What? No! Saiko and Tari are now a couple and are going on a date now."

"Really? But isn't she an anime fan too."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, you broke with her when she burned your anime stuff."

"But she's a better person now."

"Better does not mean different."

"Why are you being so mean about this?"

"Cause she's crazy."

"Well if your going to be a meanie, then I'm leaving." Boopkins yelled as he marched out the door, leaving Mario alone.

"Now lets get this party started."

Boopkins was still annoyed at Mario said about Saiko. She was a better person now. She can keep a level head when no one is looking at her for more than a month now. That's progress Bookins though to himself. But as he walked, he couldn't help but think what Saiko did to him but with Tari instead. Like a burning pile of anime stuff. But Tari's more of a gamer anyway, Saiko won't overreact if she was playing a game. And then the image of burning video games appeared in his head. But there's more life than games and ... No anime is life. But there's friends. And they were both good friends with Meggy, one of the most level headed people he knows and stands up for her friends. And then an image of a burning pile of Meggys appeared in his head.

"MARIO, YOU RIGHT." Boopkins scream as he barge back into the Mario house.

And then the image of a naked Mario making out with a plate of spaghetti was burned into his head.

Saiko was nervously waiting for Tari in the fancy restaurant she booked. She was so nervous that her sweat has made the floor a safety hazard. After a few minutes, Tari arrived, wearing a black dress with white polka dots, blue slippers with fishnet stockings and her hair was tied back witch a Pac-Man hair clip. She looked really adorable.

"Hi Saiko." Tari greeted, taking a seat across from her. "You look amazing." she complemented but Saiko was too shaken with fear to say anything. Luigi was sitting at a nearby table, wearing a headset microphone and keeping an eye on Saiko and when he saw her struggle, he gave her some advice.

"Say something. Complement her hair." Luigi suggested.

"Complement her hair." Saiko repeated. Tari was confused by this. "I mean your hair is lovely."

"Aw, thank you." Tari thanked. Saiko mentally patted herself on the back while Luigi just faceplamed. He then notice Meggy was sitting across from him, hiding behind a newspaper.

"You got dragged into this too?" Luigi asked.

"Yeah. We're in for a long night."

Back at the Mario house, Boopkins was telling a now clothed Mario his worries.

"I don't know what to do. I want them to be happy but I know she's gonna hurt her. Oh, what do I do."

"Hmmmm. We burn down Tari house." Mario suggested which caused Boopkins to gasp in shock.

"NO! I want to protect Tari, not leave her homeless. Also she lives in an apartment building."

"Hmmm. I got nothing." Mario said. Then the door was slammed open and Bob let himself in.

"Sup, bitches. Was going through you trash when I heard talk of burning stuff and want to join." Bob said.

"We're not burning anything! We're trying to come up with a way to make sure Saiko doesn't hurt Tari." Boopkins told him

"Why. Saiko hurts everybody who shakes her hand."

"Cause there dating." Boopkins said and Bob just stared for a few seconds before laughing his ass off. "It's not funny Bob."

"It's the funniest thing I heard all week."

"Can you at least come up with a way to help."

"How about we burn we burn Saiko's house."

"NOOOO!" Boopkins whined. "It's useless. As soon as Saiko goes to Tari's house, Tari will not notice her and she'll destroy all her stuff." And just like that, an idea popped into the heads of both Mario and Bob.

"We rob her." they said at the same time.

"WHAT! How is that suppose to help."

"You said that if Tari had her anime and games, she won't pay attention to Saiko. So if her steal that stuff, no harm." Mario explained.

"And then we can sell it for CASH MONEY." Bob added.

"I don't know. But it's the only idea we got." Boopkins relented. "And we're not selling her stuff. That's just mean." And this made Bob upset. "So whats the plan."

"I know a guy."

Out in a cabin the woods, Shroomy was chopping wood for the fire when the trio approached.

"Howdy fellas. What brings you around these parts." Shroomy greeted.

"We got a job Shroomy." Bob said. "The smallest, most insignificant job for no pay that only the most pathetic band of thieves will attempt to pull off."

"Well that sounds fun. But why do you need me?"

"Don't you have a badge in master thievery?" Mario asked. But this caused Shroomy's face to go grim.

"Yes. I do have that badge. But the things I did. I can never forgive myself for." Shroomy reminisced as Boopkins gave him a comforting, hug.

"What did you do?" He asked.

"We were in a middle of a car chase and I wasn't able to help this old lady cross the street. That misdeed will haunt me for the rest of my life." Shroomy retold. While Boopkins was sympathetic, Mario and Bob both had a look that said 'seriously'.

"Shroomy, stop being a bitch and help." Bob said.

"Okie Dokie."

**!SHROOMY HAS JOINED THE TEAM!**

"Good. Now we need a truck and a driver." Boopkin said.

"I know a guy." Mario said.

In a cafe, the four were discussing the situation to Toad. After listening, he gave his thoughts.

"Okay, So I drive Saiko home then get her to burn my girlfriend's house."

"Why does everyone want to burn someone's house?" Boopkins whined, clearly annoyed.

"Trust me Boopkins. Saiko is horrible girlfriend material. Sure she may seem...normal now. But we all remember that day you brought her to this world."

"Toad. We only asked you to hijack Luigi's ice-cream, not to stop out brilliant plan." Mario told

"Fine. I need to get away from Toadette for a while."

**!TOAD HAS JOINED THE TEAM!**

"That seems to be enough dudes for the team." Mario stated. "Let'sa go."

"Wait. What about Meggy?" Boopkins said. "Saiko might go after her too."

"I know a guy"

"Hey, Bowser. Wanna kidnap Meggy for free?"

"Sure."

**!BOWSER HAS JOINED THE TEAM!**

Now this team of morons will attempt to the do easiest heist in history.

**MARIO: THE SURVEILLANCE**

**SHROOMY: MASTER THIEF**

**TOAD: GETAWAY DRIVER**

**BOWSER: PROFESSIONAL KIDNAPPER**

**FISHY BOOPKINS: THE HEART**

**BOB: BOB**

"So we all know the plan, right?" Boopkins asked which annoyed Toad.

" Yes Boopkins. We..."

_Shroomy, will get us into the apartment and then him, Bob and me will begin removing the stuff._

The trio managed to break in and inside, they saw the disturbingly adorable sight of duck wallpaper, duck pattern carpet and lots of duck pictures, statues and decorations.

"I knew Tari loved ducks but I didn't knew she was a crazy duck lady. " Bob commented.

"Does this mean we have to take the ducks too?" Boopkins said.

"You said it yourself. Everything that'll take Saiko's attention must go." As they ransacked the apartment, Shroomy was amazed on the quality of her belongings.

Look at this. She has 13 of the 100 rubber ducks that were lost at sea. Those are real collector items. And look, an original SNES cartridge of Mother 2. That's really expensive. And an Atria Jaguar. We don't need to go near this, this is useless.

As Shroomy talked, Bob was drooling over the value all around him. "No Bob." Boopkin scold as he sprayed water on him. "No profit."

_While we work, Mario will keep an eye on Saiko and Tari and let us know when they're on the way._

Mario was hiding in a potted plant in the restaurant. Looking for his targets. He spotted Luigi sitting with someone with a newspaper. "Hey Bro. How's you date going?" Mario greeted with a smirk.

"Mario! What are you doing here?" Luigi asked.

"I saw you with a good looking girl leaving the house earlier and I wanted to see how you were doing." Mario said before turning his attention to his 'date'. "And what's your name?" he asked and the person put down the paper to reveal Meggy.

"Can you please not bother us now. We're working."

"You not the girl!" Mario yelled in shocked. "The girl was tall and was..." and then he saw the girl in the red dress.

Back with Tari and Saiko.

"Are you okay, Saiko?" Tair asked in a concerned tone.

"I'm fine I'm fine. Nothing to worry about." Saiko said.

"Well, it's that you eaten your meal. And the plate. And your glass. And the table cloth. And your half of the table."

"What? No. I'm fine. Perfectly fine."

"Can I tell you a secret? I was actually nervous about tonight so I gotten Meggy to give me advice from another table."

"You too? I gotten Luigi to help me out. Guess we were both nervous." The two laugh for a bit and Saiko felt a lot calmer after that detail.

"You!" A voice shouted and it belong to Mario who dragged Luigi to their table. "You two-timing bitch! How could you ditch this magnificent man for this slut."

"What are you talking about?" Saiko asked in stunned confusion.

"Don't give that. Now I know Luigi is coward and a weakling and a wimp and gay and would rather dance than get a date, but he's an amazing brother and your making a huge mistake. I may have thought Saiko and Tari was a disaster waiting to happen but now... Now I'm mad."

"Mario, I'm Saiko. And this is Tari. We're the ones on the date."

"No you're not. Saiko has pigtails. And Tari wears a blue hoodie. What kind of idiot do you take me for, for not reconsigning my friends."

"Excuse me." Jeeves said entering the scene with some milkmen. "Is this man bothering you three?"

"Yes!" Saiko and Tari answered.

"Very good choice." And Jeeves snapped his fingers and the milkmen dragged Mario out of the building.

"Sorry about that Saiko." Luigi tried to comfort. "If it makes you feel any better, he didn't recognise you." Saiko just shook her head in disagreement.

"Do you know what would cheer me up at a time like this?" Tari said. "Ice-cream. Would you like to order some ice-cream." Saiko gave a small smile

"Yeah."

_And when he gets a chance, Bowser will kidnap Meggy to safety._

Meggy was banging her head on the table after Mario's stunt when she got a text from Bowser on her phone.

_**Bowser: Hey Meggy. I want to get Junior one of those paint guns. Can you give me some advice on what to get.**_

_**Meggy: Can't. Busy helping Tari.**_

_**Bowser: I'll let you test them out when I buy them.**_

_**Meggy: Don't know. This is very important to Tari and I want to be there for her.**_

_**Bowser: Please. It shouldn't take more than five minutes.**_

_**Meggy: me here. But just five minutes.**_

With the text done. Meggy waited for Bowser to let her know he was here. When the message arrived, she let Tari know. "Gonna go silent for five minutes. Bowser wants some help. Don't worry, you're doing great." And Meggy went outside. And straight away Bowser shoved her in a bag and ran off.

_And when that's all done. Toad will drive us to my home where we will keep it all safe._

The thieves had just finished plundering the apartment when Bowser came back with a tied up Meggy.

"Hooray. That's everything. Now everyone is going to be okay." Boopkins celebrated.

"Boopkins! What the hell is going on!?" Meggy yelled.

"Hi, Meggy. We're just taking Tari's duck, game and anime stuff so Saiko doesn't hurt her for having it."

"Why?!"

"Because Saiko burned all my body pillows before I broke up with her and I wanted to make sure it doesn't happen to Tari. And they'll live happily ever after." Boopkins explained. Meggy however looked like she had trouble processing this information and it was hurting her brain.

"Wait. You didn't want Saiko to burned her stuff...So you robbed her stuff." Boopkins just nodded in proud glee. "Oh my God. I've seen you guys do some really stupid things but this has got to be the dumbest, most idiotic one yet!"

"Can you guys shut up and get a move on." Toad shouted from the driver seat. "I haven't heard from the moron so we don't know how long those two are gonna be gone. So the sooner the better, people."

"Alrighty. Wanna sit in the front with me, Boopkins." Shroomy asked and Boopkins hopped to the front.

"You gonna sit in the back with me, kid." Bowser said as he brought Meggy into the van. "I found this fun book we could read together on the trip called Dragon Ball." Now Meggy was really worried for herself. And with that the band of thieves made there escape.

And had to stop since an old man was crossing the road.

"GOD DAMMIT."

Saiko(and Luigi) was taking Tari home. "You know, even if we have a tag along, I think this has got to be the best part of the evening."

"You're welcome." Tari thanked. "If you want, you could stay the night and we could have some fun." She said suggestively.

"What kind of fun?." Saiko asked with a knowing smirk.

"Smash Each Other In The Ass Bros."

"Sold." And the two ran inside giggling with excitement.

"Looks like my work here is done." Luigi said to himself and made his way home when he spotted his ice-cream truck.

Tari opened the the door to her apartment and when she turned on the light, the sight left her in a state of shock. The wallpaper and carpets were removed, the shelves were empty of games or books, her TV and consoles were gone and when she slowly walked to the kitchen, all her duck themed plates, glasses and cutlery were missing. Saiko helped the silent girl to the living rooms couch and tried to comfort her, as Tari latched onto Saiko and cried her heart out. As Saiko held on to the gamer, she spotted a piece of paper on the coffee table addressed to the both of them. She picked it up and both read it. While Tari gasped at the note, Saiko's blood began to boil.

"BOOPKINS!"

Outside, Luigi kept asking why Boopkins and friends had his truck when they heard the sound of death so Bob had enough of the old man and kicked him off the road.

"DRIVE! DRIVE! DRIVE!" Bob ordered as the truck speed away. Then Saiko rushed outside.

"Saiko. What happened?" Luigi asked not knowing whats going on.

"Boopkins robbed Tari!" Saiko seethed.

"What!? And they were just here! What do we do?" The two looked for a way to catch up and saw Steve.

"This is bad. This is really bad. How did she knew we robbed her." Bob said in a panic.

"Oh, I left note saying that we're keeping her stuff while they were dating." Boopkins explained with a proud and innocent smile as Bob, Toad, Bowser and Meggy just looked at him since they couldn't believe he just did that.

"Okay. We got to kill her." Toad said, cocking a shotgun.

"Noooo! We can't kill her! That goes against everything we've done."

"Either we kill her or she kills us."

"Sorry for interrupting but is it getting warmer?" Bowser noticed from the back.

"Well, golly gee, that isn't the car or weather getting warmer. That's just pure, concentrated rage." Shroomy explained so the the other thieves looked out the window and saw a hammer wielding Saiko with fire coming out of her eyes on top of Luigi who was driving a speedy Steve down the street.

"Get me closer, Luigi!" Saiko shouted.

"I'm trying. I never rode a man before." he told her.

Back at truck, Toad got his shotgun ready. "Bob, take the wheel." He ordered as he looked out the wndow and aimed his gun. And then he was attacked by Toadette who dragged him and the door away.

"God dammit. We lost Toad." Bob complained as they heard something jump on the roof.

"Well. Looks like I better deal with this." Shroomy said and he skillfully jumped out the window, onto the top of the truck where a pissed off Saiko awaited, so he took out a pair of nunchaku and got into a fighting stance. "I don't want to fight you. But I must warn you I have 10 badges in different schools of martial arts and..." But he soon started to look nervous and looking away from Saiko. "I'm sorry. But I can't fight you right now! I have more important things to do!" And Shroomy jumped of the truck to help an old lady cross the street.

"Ah, Bob. Shroomy jumped off." Boopkins said.

"For the love of... Bowser. Get her." Bob ordered.

"I would but I'm stuck here. I think I lost feeling in my legs."

"Fine, I'll do it! Boopkins you take the wheel."

"But I can't reach the pedals." Boopkins told him which caused Bob to groan and take out a brick.

"Brick, you take care of the pedals." And he put the brick on the accelerator and he jump onto the top of the truck. Bob manged to kick Saiko down but she blocked the next attack with her hammer when he tried to slash with his knives. The two wage on for several minutes til Bob manged to knock her hammer away and kicked her down again. "Ha. Take that bitch! When it comes to fighting on a moving vehicle, no one can beat me."

"Your right, Bob. You truly the better fighter." Saiko said with what sounded like false praise. "Not only that but you are the most handsome man in the world, and every woman in the world would want to date you. No. Marry you, oh king of awesomeness."

"Finally you see how great and sexy I am. I'm the best. Around, Nothings ever gonna keep me down." Bob sang to himself. If only saw Saiko's smirk or her goodbye hand gesture or the bridge that was about to smash him in the face.

Boopkins was having problems of his own. The truck was moving too fast and he couldn't move Brick.

"Hi Boopkins." Came the coldly calm voice of Saiko who was now sitting next to him which scared the crap out of him. "Stop the truck."

"I can't. I can't reach the pedals." Boopkins said so Saiko swapped seats with him, tossed Brick at an egg-shaped man and stopped the vehicle. The atmosphere of the truck had so much tension that a single spark could set the whole thing off. But as Boopkin tried to speak, Saiko cut him off "Out of the car." Outside, Saiko looked in the back and saw Tari's belongings, a tied up Meggy and a Bowser who had trouble moving behind all the games. "Meggy. Can you take the truck back to Tari. I need to talk to Boopkins. Alone." She asked after she untied Meggy who proceeded to leave without a word, leaving the two exes alone.

"Saiko..." Boopkins started.

"What the hell, Boopkins!" Saiko interrupted. "I expected this crap from Mario or Bob but you? What were you thinking."

"I wanted to make sure you wouldn't hurt Tari when you so you too could be happy."

"So you decided to be beat me to it?"

"Wha. no."

"Really? Cause when we got home, her heart just couldn't process what happened. I never seen someone so devastated since...you back before Christmas that year."

"Oh my God. I'm so sorry. I just didn't want what happened to us to happen to you and Tari. Do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you Boopkins, I'm just disappointed. But you better make this up to Tari."

"So let me get this straight," Meggy asked as she, Boopkins, Tari and Saiko were about to play Smash Bros with Luigi watching."Tari is not pressing charges on you, if you don't watch anime for a week?"

"Yep" Boopkins said as he was picking a character.

"No Boopkins, you can't pick him. He's anime and you can't have any." Tari told him in a weak attempt to sound strict.

"But it's a game."

"Still anime."

"I'll be honest, you got off pretty east compare to the other guys." Meggy noted as Shroomy with a jug of lemonade and a tray of glasses, Bowser with a plate of chicken wings and Bob with a tray of cookies. All wearing butler outfits and concrete shoes and they placed the trays on the table in front of the girls.

"Thank you slaves. You may leave us." Saiko ordered. "Oh, Bob. Can I have a foot massage." Bob grumbled at the task as he hopped over to the psychopath.

"By the way. Does anyone know where Mario is?" Luigi asked. "I haven't seen him since the restaurant."

On an island made of garbage, a garbage truck dump it's latest load which included a really fat Mario who had no idea where he was. But that didn't matter as he was the sexiest sight he ever seen. A mountain of rotten spaghetti.


	3. Tari's Engagement Ring

Tari was getting ready for a date. But this wasn't any other date. Tonight, Tari was going to propose to Saiko. Making sure the ring was in her pocket, she reminisced about the event that got her the ring like it was yesterday.

_**Yesterday**_

Tari and Meggy were in the jewellers looking for an engagement ring. They were so many choices that were gorgeous but none of them were good enough. As she looked the displays, she saw a ring on a decorative pedestal and armed security. It was a simple silver ring but there was a beautiful emerald on it. She didn't know why but she was drawn to it like a moth to a flame.

"Stop right there thots." Swagmaster ordered. "Only the sexiest people can touch this ring. And you're clearly not sexy." And then he was shot by Chris.

"Ignore him. We're just not allowed to let people go near this ring." Chris explained

"Why? Is it really expensive?" Tari asked.

"No. you just have to kill the sewer monster underneath the store."

"You mean this one?" Meggy asked, taking out her phone and showing a selfie of her and Tari in front of a body of a sewer monster.

"OMG THEY ARE THE SEXIEST! MY SWAGNESS IS NOT WORTHY!" Swag yelled as he began to bow before the girls.

"I'll just let the manger confirm this."

_**Today**_

And now it was time for one last checklist:

Ring box with ring: Check

No wallet to get distracted by game shops: Check.

Lucky duck: Check

Looking good: Check

With all that done. It was time to leave. It was a beautiful evening but all that matter was getting to the park to meet Saiko. Just focus. That's all she had to do. Just focus. Just focus. Just

"Hey, Hey If it isn't my favourite customer." Wario said as he blocked Tari's path. "And without any supervision."

"Ahhh. Hi Wario..." Tari Nervously greeted. "I don't think I bought any thing from you."

"Will that's about to change. Presenting...Wario Ware!" The greedy man said, gesturing to a stand filled with little handhelds with Waluigi in a sexy purple dress that fitted his figure. "Each one is a master piece that will give you hours of fun. For the low low price of 500 coins per game."

"That does seem like a good deal...But I can't buy anything. I don't got my wallet."

"What?! Get out of here!" Wario demanded as he pushed Tari away as something hit the ground. Tari was bit upset over that but she had a date to get to make sure.

Ring box with Ring:...Where's the ring? It's gone! Where is it. Tari panicked and then saw Wario and Waluigi laughing to themselves and holding her ring.

"You thieves!" Tari shouted and ran after them. The brothers saw Tari after them and made it to their truck. But they were too late as the cyborg jumped into the back of said truck. The brothers were laughing at their success when Waluigi heard a knock on the window. "Give that back." Tari said holding on to the truck door. Waluigi opened the door to try and and knock her off, but she grabbed his moustache so she doesn't fall off as she desperately tries to keep up. Wario sees Waluigi struggling and tries to pull him into the truck. As Tari held on, her phone rang and she had to answer."Hello."

"_Hi my blue jay." _Came Saiko's force. "_Is there a holdup? You late."_

"Sorry honey. Just had a delay. Hope to be there soon."

"_Okay. I'll just wait here then. Love you."_

"Love you too, Saiko." Tari ended her call and those last words sent a chill down the brothers spine.

"Love..." "Saiko..." the brothers realised what they just stole and immediately hit the brakes.

Flinging Tari straight into a wall and landing on to some garbage two thieves ran out of the car to check if she was okay and apologised and asking them not to let her girlfriend kill them and even offered her a ride to her date, which Tari accepted with a smile. The ride was horrible as it smell like garlic, toxic gas and self esteem issues, but they were making good progress until Wario stopped the car. Looking out, Tari saw that the road was overrun by hundreds of baby animals from puppies, to kittens to even ducklings. At the first sight of those ducklings, Tari leaped out of the truck and began to hug them. But then she was grabbed by the neck by a menacing red head with a thousand yard stare in black armour.

"Your the hero who the will defeat me, Gannondorf. King of all the evil stuff?" The man said taking Tari's engagement ring. "Now that I have one of the magical MacGuffins, no one can defeat me." And he threw Tari into another group of trash cans. "Come my baby army. To the evil lair." And the dark prince entered the building next him that said 'GANNONDORFS EVIL LAIR. no girls allowed!'

The Wario Bros got out of the truck to see if Tari was okay. She looked stunned and on the verge of breaking down into tears.

"Oh, God! Don't cry! Here have some free Wario Wares." Wario pleaded and showered her with his goods which had no effect on the gamer.

"How about we go to that evil lair and get you ring back so your girlfriend doesn't kill us." Waluigi suggested behind his fat brother.

"Really?" Tari sniffed. "You'll help me?" The two brothers nodded nervously. "Then lets get that ring back!"

In the evil lair, Gannondorf placed the ring on a table in middle of the room and was sitting in a very fancy throne, monolouging to the baby animals running around the room. "The hero can't stop me now. Now I can sit here and stare menacingly." Suddenly, the front door flew open and Wario and Waluigi came bursting in with a briefcase.

"Is this the home of the King of evil. Cause if it is, do I got a deal for you." Wario started, getting the man's attention as he got off the throne to approach the duo. "Presenting...Tacos! But not just any taco's, the most delicious tacos my talented brother here cooked with only the finest ingredients. Able to feed you forever!" Gannondorf stared at the pair before reaching for his pocket and took out his wallet.

"I'll take Everything!"

Meanwhile, Tari snunked by the sales pitch and tiptoed past the babies to reach the ring. She was so close, just a little further...

'_RING'_

Tari's phone began to ring and she quickly answered before it made too much noise.

"_Tari, where are you? You should be here by now."_ Saiko said in a more worried tone.

"Can you please calm down." Tari quietly pleaded. "The road is filled with baby animals so I have to take a long way."

"_Are serous? Please tell me this is the truth?" _

"Yes. I'll try to get there as quick as I can, okay. Don't worry. Love you." Tari hung up and was then confronted by Gannondorf stroking a duckling.

"So you're trying to take the MacGuffin back? Well, I'm the most evil, awesome person ever so I say no. I've seen you like my ducklings. Why not play with one!" And he threw the duckling at her, which she caught. She stared at the fluffy baby for a while, mesmerised by it's duckness.

"No." Tari stated, breaking out of her trance. "Any other day. But not today!" and she threw the duck back at the fiend. The duck stare adorably into his eyes and amount of cuteness that was emitting from them was so intense that he just started screaming as he slowly lay on the floor in an over the top manner as the babies started to play on top of him.

"Gees, what a drama queen." Waluigi commented as they walked out of the baby filled lair, ring in hand, when someone metallic took the ring from Tari. And the culprit was Metal Sonic.

" . I NOW HAVE ONE OF THE CHAOS EMERALDS. i'M ONE STEP CLOSER TO BEING THE BEST HEDGEHOG EVER!" Metal ranted and ran off with the ring as a blue hedgehog stop in front the gamer.

"Hey, did any of you see a robot that looks like me." Sonic said and Tari tried to explain but she had trouble forming sentences with all the tears. "Hey calm down. I don't handle crying well." He calmly told her and she explained what happened. "Ouch. Tell you what. You get on my back, and we'll teach Metal a lesson and get you to your date, Hop on." Sonic told her and she hopped on and the two speed off, leaving the Wario Bros. behind.

"So. What do we do now?" Waluigi asked.

"If we're very careful, we can walk out of the story." Wario answered. "But first lets get those babies. I smell another scam."

Sonic and Tari were chasing the robotic robber when they spotted him standing on top of a building.

"Hey slowpoke!" Sonic taunted getting the robot's attention. "Heard you took something from this lady here and she wants it back."

"LIKE I WILL FALL FOR INFERIOR TRICKS. I WON'T GIVE BACK THIS CHAOS EMERALD FOR ANYTHING." Metal gloated.

"Then how about a race." Tari suggested. "Whoever gets to the park first wins. If we win, you give me back the ring. If you win, you... do whatever it is you do."

Metal pondered about this for a moment. "AND ARE YOU RACING TOGETHER."

"Wouldn't be fair on you if we didn't." Sonic joked.

"VERY WELL. I WILL ENJOY DESTROYING YOU!" and Metal raced ahead as our heroes speed up. And then Tair's phone began to rang

"Hi, Saiko. I'm almost there Just had to make a small detour." Tari told Saiko.

"_Stop! Just stop lying! Just say it already!."_ Saiko wailed over the phone .

"Say what?"

"_That you're breaking up with me! Why else would you stand me up like this!"_

"Wha... No. Saiko I'm not..."

"_Save it. You know, I actually thought you were different. I thought you loved me. Why should I have expected anything different."_

"Saiko, wait!" Tari pleaded but Saiko hung up. "Sonic, we have to beat that robot! Hurry"

"Beat him? I got a better idea." Sonic smirked.

At the park's entrance, Metal had reached the finish line and when he didn't see Sonic or Tari, he declared himself the winner and started to do a little victory dance. Too bad Sonic ran straight into him as he dropped off Tari who saw that the ring box was in her hand. Checking to see if it's still inside, Tari signed in relief and started to walk into the park.

"So you finally showed up." Saiko said, coming out of the park with tears rolling down her face and a tub of ice-cream in her hand. "Don't say it. I've been waiting over an hour for you." Tari ignored her ranting and went down one one knee and open the box, showing Saiko the ring. "Is that...? Is this what I think it is?" Saiko asked in disbelief.

"Saiko..." Tari began. "Will you marry me?"

Saiko was speechless for a moment. "Is this really happening? Am I dreaming? Tari, I'm so sorry about what I said. I thought you... wanted to..."

"Is that a yes?"

"YES! YES I WILL MARRY YOU!" Saiko scream to the world as she had the biggest smile anyone must've seen on her face and her heart was pounding like a turbo engine. She slowly reached out to the ring as if one touch could shatter it. Closer... Closer... Closer...

And then the ring was snatched by a blonde man in green, very proud of what he just took and walked away, leaving the couple in shock. Tari just had a defeated look in her face as every tear that didn't escape just broke free as she fell face first on to the concrete. Her cries were heart wrenching to Saiko as she saw the culprit walk away. But he was then attack by Metal Sonic.

"GIVE THAT BACK. I WON THAT EMERALD." He threatened as the Wario bros. drove into the scene with a truck full of baby animals. As they panicked at the sight of Saiko, Gannondorf burst out of the back of the truck.

"The MacGuffin! I won't let you take it." The villain stated as he entered the fight. This fight was short-lived however as the Wario Bros were thrown at the combatants by a very, very, very, very very, very, mad Saiko who was dragging her hammer on the floor.

"Okay. You're gonna give me that ring back and you gonna die."Saiko told them with disdain.

"Can me and Wario live if we told you we actually gave it back?" Waluigi plead Saiko just tightened her grip on the hammer.

"How about we give you a pet for free." Wario offered. Saiko just pointed to a kitten which the brothers gave her in exchange for their lives.

"Why is everyone scared of this girl. She's just a thin, pink haired

(the rest of the scene was too graphic to show so to make up for it, here's some pandas)

Back at Saiko's apartment. Tari was playing with Saiko's new kitten when a blood covered Saiko walked over to her and gave her a back rub. "Sorry for accusing you that you wanted to break up with me. I shouldn't had assumed that."

"It's okay. It wasn't your fault or mine. It was those meanies who robbed me." Tari comforted.

"I know. But I shouldn't had said that stuff. Guess I'm just so use people wanting to do with me that I just assumed the worst." Saiko said as she stared at her new ring. "I never thought I'll get this far in an relationship." Then Tari kiss her on the lips.

"And soon we're go further when we become wives." the gamer giggle and Saiko laughed along.

"I'm gonna go for a bath, care to join me?" Saiko suggested. Tari blushed at this, unable to answer as Saiko dragged her out of the room.

**SAIKO ENDING UNLOCKED**


	4. The Wedding Preparations

The gang were at Peach's castle doing waiting for Saiko and Tari. Apparently they had some big news today. Boopkins was reading a manga, Bowser brought snacks, Luigi was humming a tune to himself, Glitchy was looking at memes, Shroomy was counting the clouds on the wall, Mario Toad and Bob were sitting being bored and for some reason, Desti and her gang were here and she didn't look happy. And the oddly smug smile Meggy had like she was waiting for something to happen didn't make her feel welcome. Then Saiko and Tari arrived, holding hands.

"Hi guys." Tari greeted. Saiko however just glared at Bob.

"Why is Bob here?" Saiko asked clearly annoyed.

"I brought him." Boopkins said.

"Of course. Anyway, Tari and I have some big news." Saiko said and she showed them all her engagement ring.

"We're getting married!" the couple announced to the small crowd in front. Meggy screamed in joy as she rushed over to them and gave them a hug with Boopkins joining in. Luigi gave Saiko a congratulatory pat which she didn't mind for once and Glitchy , Bowser and Mario applauded the news. And while Desti tried to ignore the buzz, her squad were squealing in joy for this strangers. Toad however looked upset as he patted Tari's hand.

"It was nice knowing you, Tari. You will been missed." Toad said and then Saiko kicked him into the ceiling. But that wasn't the only thing that annoyed Saiko as Bob was laughing his ass off from the news.

"What's so funny, Bob?" Saiko questioned.

"You getting married." Bob answered, still chuckling like a broken disc player. "That's hilarious. What stupid idiot would marry a bitch like you?"

"Well Bob. If you think this is so funny, then I got good news for you... YOU'RE NOT INVITED." Saiko said as she took out her hammer and whack Bob out of the castle.

"Speaking of being invited, why are we here?" Desti asked.

"Because, Desti... You and your friends are going to be my bridesmaids! And Luigi." Saiko told her. Desti just had a face said 'what the hell' as her teammates embraced her in a group hug,

"Does that mean I'm your maid of honour?" Meggy asked.

"Nope." Tari answered "You're going to be my best man." And she gave her a hug. "And the rest of you going to be my bridesmen. Uh, Except for you Boopkins."

"But...But why..?" Boopkins cried.

"Isn't it obvious? You're my maid of honour." Saiko said, giving his hair a ruffle.

"Really?! Oh, I need to get my hair done. Get some new shoes. Whats my dress size?"

"Ahem." Bowser grunted, getting everyone's attention. "I don't suppose you got a plan for this wedding."

"To be honest, Saiko and I hadn't thought..." Tari tried to explain but Bowser hushed her.

"Just what I thought. Don't worry. I already have the plan for the perfect wedding. " he told them and took out a flip chart board had a map of the world and many pins and notes. "First, we go to the Cap Kingdom and kidnap the most beautiful tiara for the bride. Then we go to Tostarena and take the Binding Band from..."

"No, Bowser! We're not doing this!" Saiko interrupted.

"Bu...But it's the perfect wedding..."

"One: You're prefect wedding is not our perfect wedding. Two: We're not stealing anything, especially after what you idiots did. And three: WE'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE OUR WEDDING ON THE MOON!"

"But I just hired the best wedding planners and their going to be here now." the turtle explained as the front door burst opened and four rabbids in colourful suits entered.

"You fired." Saiko said to them in a deadpan manner and they threw a tantrum and started breaking things as they left.

"Great. Now we don't have any wedding planners. Now how are you going to get this wedding of the ground" Bowser complained.

"Bowser. We don't need a fancy wedding." Tari told the royal turtle. "We just want to have a nice day that we can all remember forever."

"That's a good idea." Luigi said. "But where is the wedding going to be."

"Well..."

"No." Peach stated to the crowd that entered her throne room, with Toadsworth looking at photos of himself in a corner

"Why? " Tari cried. "Why can't we have our wedding here?"

"It's the law."

"Aren't you the one who writes the law?" Meggy asked. Peach just smirked and recline herself on her throne.

"Do I have a great job or what?"

"Pretty Please, Princess. It would mean a lot to these kind ladies." Shroomy said.

"And I want castle insurance. We can't always get what we want."

"How about I won't kidnap you for a year." Bowser bargained. Peach just glared at him like she knew he wouldn't keep his word.

"I didn't want to do this but you leave me no choice." Saiko said, grabbing Toad in a headlock and pointing a knife at his throat. "If you won't let us have our wedding here, this guy gets it."

"Go ahead. I have over a dozen more in the basement." Peach said nonchalantly.

"I mean it. I'll do it." Saiko threatened but Peach just kept staring at her, waiting. And soon Saiko let Toad go.

"Please Princess. Have a heart?" Fishy Boopkins pleaded with the most adorable face he could make. Peach just laughed at him and kept laughing and laughing almost turning blue til Toadsworth shock her with a stun rod to calm her down.

"Looks like I have no choice." Luigi signed as he whispered something into Peach's ear and she soon grew a suggestive smirk, looking at Bowser and Mario.

"Okay. I'm sold. You can have you dumb wedding." Peach declared to the delight of the wedding duo and they gave Luigi a 'thank you' hug as the gang left the room.

"So what you tell her?" Glitchy asked.

"Oh nothing to worry about. She'll forget about it tomorrow." Luigi waved away.

"No she won't. She has a memory of an elephant." Glitchy told him "Lets go." he smiled, leaving a worried Luigi behind.

In Bowser's castle: Saiko and Tari were waiting for Bowser to serve some of the dishes he would like to serve at the wedding(since they torpedoed his stew plan). However they've waiting for over an hour for starters and they were getting impatient.

"What's taking that dumb brute so long? I expected him to be more professional than this." Saiko questioned.

"Maybe something happened like the food got burnt or he didn't have enough ingredients and was too embarrassed to tell us." Tari thought

"Or he's plotting that stupid wedding he wants to do for himself."

"Now Saiko, we shouldn't rush to conclusions. Lets just see whats going on." Tari told her and the two made their way to the kitchen and saw that everything was on fire, toxic food monsters were withering in agony and they saw Bob cooking the meal.

"BOB!" The two shouted.

"What are you doing?! Why is everything on fire?! Where's Bowser?! Why is the food in pain." Tari yelled in a panic.

"I told him that Peach was having a bath unguarded. Now I'm the head chef. Can be in you wed..." Bob couldn't continue as he started to laugh. Saiko then grab him by his neck and proceeded to throw him in the oven.

"No Saiko!" Tari told her and Saiko complied as she went to shove down the sink.

"No." And Saiko went to throw him out the window to the lava below.

"No" And Saiko was going to feed him to one of the food monsters.

"Wait" Tari said instead and handed Saiko a knife and fork.

"Oh, I see." Saiko figured and gave the cutlery to Bob. "This better be all gone by the time Bowser gets back."

"And who's going to make me, bitch." Bob said and Saiko responded with a hammer to the face. "Time for my dinner." and began to eat the food monsters

While the two were against getting the first prize cake from that race, they were interested in what other cakes there were in Shiveria along with Toad and Bowser. Will, more Bowser as Toad was here just to keep an eye on Tari if she wondered off.

"Wow. This place is the most adorable village I've seen. I wonder if we can get some winnings from the races here," Tari suggested

"Tari, did you read the brochure, There is no gambling of any kind here. It's a family destination." Toad told her.

"No. no, there's gambling. We just got to find it!" Tari insisted with a manic grin and she effortlessly dragged Toad to the races as he screamed for help

"Looks like it's just you and me, Saiko." Bowser said but Saiko was already looking at the many stores. While there were a lot of beautiful cakes, none of them were piquing her interest. While she be fine with any cake, she wanted something special for Tari. And then she saw it: A cake that look like it was made game consoles. The bottom was an Xbox 360, the next was a PS2, after that was a normal Xbox and on top, a GameCube. Saiko knew that Tari would love that cake so she took a picture and sent it to Tari who loved it.

"Sir. How much is it for that console cake." Saiko asked.

"This?" The cake maker asked, gesturing to the cake. "This is a consultation prize for a racer that didn't win last race."

"So it's not for sale?"

"Well, if you ask a racer to give you there cake, I could make one for you." The cake maker explained as he returned to his work. Saiko had a feeling asking for a favour would be a bad idea for the racer. And then she saw the big, burly turtle next to her.

"Hey, Bowser. I heard those seal think your fat."

"What! Bitch, I'm fabulous!" Bowser said.

"Then I got a plan to show them."

Back with Tari and Toad, Tari had found not only a seat for the races but she also found one of the cute outfits the residents wear and made Toad wear it which him made the cutest Toad in the world but all he felt inside was pain.

"ATTENION. A NEW CHALLENGER HAS JOINED THE RACE." An annoucer has said over the loudspeaker as Saiko joined the the two cuties.

"Hi Saiko. How's getting the cake." Tari asked.

"We'll see after the race." Saiko said as the racers lined up. And to Tari's surprise, one of the racer's was Bowser.

"Wish that was Mario right now." Toad once the race began, Bowser was immediately bounced around by the other racers. While this did pushed him ahead a few times, he also got crushed a few times and got bounced around with other the racers. And he would've gotten first place if he didn't got flung into the finish line sigh. But he did get fourth. Tari was shocked on what Bowser just went through but Saiko was cheering like she won the lottery.

"Why are you cheering? Bowser could be seriously hurt." Tari said

"We just won our wedding cake!" Saiko screamed in joy which cause Tari to join in and hug her in joy.

In New Donk City, there's a music festival going on that brings in talent from all over the world. There's was bound to be a band or singer who'll want to sing for the wedding. To bad they brought Mario along as his presence caused every act they approached to either just said no cause of Mario, run form him in terror, or even on the few chance their was a decent conversion, one of their friends drag them away while glaring at Mario. After these failed efforts, Mario, Saiko, Tari and Meggy were at a cafe for a quick drink.

"Seriously Mario. How did you get every musician to hate you?" Saiko said as she massage her forehead.

"Don't know. I have great people skills" Mario said while eating spaghetti.

"Red. You called Pearl a demon baby and started to hit her with a priest." Meggy said in an annoyed tone.

"Will how would you deal with a demon baby?" Mario retorted

"This was a terrible idea." Tari groaned, her head lying on the table. "We're never gonna find a singer at this rate."

"How about that guy?" Mario suggested pointing to Steve doing a silly dance and singing gibberish. The girls just said no with their looks alone.

"Hey guys!" Bob interrupted, coming out of nowhere. "Heard you were having music trouble. Why don't you use my sexy rap beats?"

"Why don't I use you as a punching bag?" Saiko threaten.

"Is that a yes?" And Bob was punched into the Teletubies act.

"How about we go have another look in town. Maybe another singer would want to sign up for this." Meggy suggested, finishing her glass. As they made the rounds around the festival, the band that was playing caught Saiko's attention.

The were four of them in total. There was a tall, white man with pink eyes and a white robe playing a guitar. A drummer that looked like a reddish brown ball with a pair of white horns, stubby arms and a giant green eye. A massive, orange bull like creature with an eye patch in what look like black body armour the went up to his knees and elbows was playing on a piano. And finally the singer, who looked like a cream coloured spider monster with a red eye and a blue eye but her voice was like the sweetest, kindest mother she ever heard.

Saiko couldn't understand why but she was drawn to the music, like it was calling her. While the band looked demonic, the notes were soft and gentle. The sweet melody wrapped her heart in a warm embrace and she didn't want it to let go. After that they played some more upbeat tunes and some that went a darker note, but she was mesmerised all the same.

"Do you want them to be our wedding band?" Tari asked Saiko who only nodded. "Then lets go meet them." They made their way the hotel they were staying in and knocked on the door to their room.

"Whooo is it?" Came a high sing-song voice.

"Just some fans. We want to have a word." Tari said.

"Moment please." The voice said and all was quiet for a moment till the voice scream "WE GOT FANS! OH DARK LORD, WE HAVE FANS! LETS CELEBRATE!" and party music started playing.

"Turn that blasted music off, Gideon!" a gruff, authoritative voice ordered and the music stopped.

"Come on in." The first voice said as the door was opened by the man in white. As they entered, the drummer was tinkering with a computer, the bull was reading with a cup of tea and the spider was holding a baby shark in her arms and was feeding it some steak.

"Hello." The drummer ball greeted, floating towards the gang ."We don't get many fans..." but the spider stopped him.

"I advise against making physical contact with the pink haired woman." the spider said with no emotion in her voice at all.

"Why? She's a normal, beautiful..." The man in white was saying as he touch Saiko's shoulder and he was flung across the room.

"Personal space, Gideon. That's why"

The bull stopped reading his book when he saw Gideon crash and let out a laugh as he picked him up and joined. "I like this one already."

"If we can get back to introductions, please." the ball said. "I'm Makron. The guy you beat up is Gideon." the white man gave a broken smile and a salute. "The big guy is Cycloid." the bull just nodded at the intro. "And this lovely lady is Vagary." And the spider simply stare at our heroes. "And we're the 'Demon Lords'."

"Hi. I'm Meggy. This is Mario. and these two girls are Saiko and Tari and they have a offer for you." Meggy greeted. Saiko was nervous to ask but Tari gave her a little encouragement.

"Hello. Umm... I only just heard of you, but your music was... I can't describe it. It was something I didn't know I wanted til I had it."

"But we're just do covers." Vagary stated.

"And I was wondering if...I can hire you to play at our wedding." Saiko offered holding Tari's hand.

"So you're not dating the handsome man, there?" Gideon asked.

"Oh, God no!" Tari shouted as Vagary handed Saiko a bucket to vomit into, which she gave to Makron who gave it a hungry stare.

"I think we can make a deal. We perform for you for free." Makron said, stunning the gang. "If you do one of these tasks." He continued taking out a piece of paper.

"Wait!" Bob interrupted again. "You shouldn't hire these guys."

"Too late." Mario said as he took the paper from Makron.

"But have you heard their music. It sounds gay and retarded. And.."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Cycloid yelled, startling everyone.

"That your music is gay and retarded." Bob repeated, meekly. Cycloid went to the on-suite bathroom and after a few minutes, came our with a body brush and a boiling bucket of soapy water.

"Time to wash a potty mouth." the bull threatened and chased Bob out of the room and through the city.

"Okay so lets take a look at that list." Meggy said, snatching it from Mario.

'Assassinate Princess Peach'

"That's a stupid idea."

'Kill the Paparazzi King'

"No idea who that is."

'Get Gideon a girlfriend'

"We barely managed to get these two together." Meggy commented with only one option left. "Guess we're going to..."

"Hug a dragon! Seriously, Meggy?!" Tari said.

"It's just dragon. How bad can it be?" Meggy replied.

"I don't know, Maybe that it's a fire-breathing monster that can kill us!"

"Come on, we've been trough worse. Also this dragon breaths lightning."

"How is that suppose to make me fell better?!"

"Would you two shut up. I'm trying to climb this thing." Saiko yelled to silence the two. The trio were in the ruins of Crumbleden, with Saiko climbing the tallest tower with Tari on her back and Meggy on Tari's.

"Fine." Meggy grumbled. "I wonder how Mario is doing." Mario meanwhile was struggling to climb a few feet up the tower and quickly running out of breath and falling off.

The trio mad it to the top and sleeping in the center of the tower was a Ruin Dragon, sleeping on a hoard of coal. Meggy readies her phone to take a photo as Saiko approached the beast but Tari remained standing in fear. Saiko went back for her and offered her hand. Tari took her hand and they slowly walked towards the dragon. Tari's heart was pounding with fear and she could feel the electricity coming from it as they made it to the massive head.

"Ready?" Saiko asked Tari.

"I hope so." Tari answered.

Bank in town, the Demon Lords were having a drink at a cafe.

"We got to go to the Lunchen Kingdom sometime." Gideon said, taking a sip from his drink. "If the lava is good here, imagine how delicious it is there." Everyone just nodded to move the conversation.

"So. You guys think those girls are coming back?" Cycloid asked to the group.

"Oh, Cycloid. You just don't understand love." Gideon sang and Cycloid bang the white man's head on the table.

"Also, you shouldn't underestimate them. Wither it's friend or foe, that mindset would lead to trouble." Makron told him as the city began to panic. A massive Ruin Dragon flew into the city, landing at the cafe they were in. And on it's back was the wedding party, hopping off the dragon and coming inside.

"I'm guessing you hugged a dragon." Vagary noticed.

"We did more than hug him." Tari cheered, running up to the spider with Meggy's phone. "We had a makeover, and a pillow fight, and we told scary stories, and..." as Tari listed the fun adventures they had with their dragon friend who'll never be seen again, Meggy and Saiko went up to Makron who had the the contract.

"Let me have a look at that first." Meggy said and took a glance at the contract. "Is this it? Just saying you're preform and asking where and when?"

"And nothing else. I like to be direct and open with people." Makron explained. Saiko signed the deal and called for Tari to do the same. The wedding music was all set.

In a florist in the local mall, the girls took Luigi and Boopkin to help them find flowers. However during the search, the biggest challenge to ever happen during the wedding plans so far occurred. A compliment battle.

"You are the nicest, most sweetest woman I know and you deserve the world so we're going for blue flowers " Saiko demanded.

"No Saiko. You've been spoiling me too much and you should get more attention so we're going for pink flowers." Tari insisted. Luigi and Boopkins meanwhile were seeing this and didn't what to do til Luigi decided to try and defuse the situation.

"Ladies. I think the answer is obvious. We pick both." Luigi said.

"But I wanted this to a special day for Tari and show her how much I love her." Saiko told him.

"And I want to show Saiko how much I love her." Tari said as well.

"Well I love you more."

"No. I love you more."

"No, you."

"No, you"

"STOP IT!" Boopkins shouted. "Please stop fighting. I know you want whats best but fighting over flowers isn't helping. Is there anything that'll make you two happy without fighting."

The girls thought about this for a moment before coming to a decision. They went for green flowers. When everyone left, Boopkins was approached by Bob.

"Oh, hi, Bob. How are you, today?" Boopkins greeted.

"Not much. Say, can you do me a favour?" Bob asked.

"Sorry Bob, but it's not up to me to get you into the wedding. I'm already taking my dad so I already used my plus one."

"I don't give a damn about that stupid wedding despite my constantly begging. I was wondering if you can tell which game that psycho bitch is from?"

"You want to play 'Happy Happy Not In A Club'? I can do better than that." And Boopkins wrote something on a piece of paper and gave it to Bob. "Here. With this you can play it for free."

"Thanks you gullible idiot." Bob said taking the paper and made his way home.

Everyone was in the best tailor in kingdom, looking for the perfect wedding outfits. Tari was with her bridesmen, looking for the right suit. Here first pick was a bright blue suit and tie with a yellow shirt and it hurt everyone's with Mario actually being set on fire. The second was a simple black and attire and they weren't impressed, with the only praise being from Toad saying it'll look great for her funeral. And punch. After a few other suits, she decided on the navy blue suit and white shirt. Now all she needs a tie.

"How about this red one. Red is the sexiest colour in the world." Mario stated.

"No, Mario. A matching blue would suit her best." Glitchy said.

"What? But that'll be boring. You boring."

"Red's right. She should wear something that'll stand out." Meggy agreed. " Maybe this orange one." Tari tried on the tie but it just didn't look right.

"Wait. Doesn't Tari like rubber ducks? Maybe we should try a yellow one." Bowser figured, handing Tari said tie. While the colour was perfect, there was something wrong with it.

"Oh golly gee, these are just not working. What do we do?!" Shroomy panic, getting stressed out about the whole thing. Then a thought crossed his head and founded a yellow bow tie. Tari put it on and she was covered by the lights of the heavens and a choir of angels sang a hymn towards said heavens as her bridemen were in silent awe of the perfection before. Tari only had one thing to say about this.

"Can you please stop staring. It's actually really creepy."

Meanwhile with Saiko and the bridesmaids, Saiko was in the changing room putting on her wedding dress.

'A wedding dress...I'm actually wearing a wedding dress for my own wedding.' Saiko thought to herself in joy. 'My wedding with the woman who loves me. Me and that lousy tWO TIMING, CHEATING, WH...!'

"What's taking so long?" Desti yelled impatiently which snapped the bride from her thoughts.

"Just a second." Saiko told her though she was worried about what came through her head. 'What was that just now? must be wedding stress.' She made her out of the changing room to get her bridesmaids reaction. Boopkins thought she looked like a princess from a fairytale, Desti tried to look unimpressed but the other members of the Octoposse kept gushing over how beautiful and gorgeous she looked causing her to admit that they were right. And Luigi looked right he was about to cry.

"What's wrong with you Luigi? You look like there's a bowl of onions next to you."

"I'm just so happy." Luigi cried. Just them Tari and co arrived to see how she was doing and was awestruck at Saiko's gown and vice versa for Saiko about Tari's suit. Neither could find the words to describe the feelings about the clothes as Meggy had an idea which Desti also thought of. They both gave the pair a light push and it was enough to make them fall into a kiss. They were a bit shocked at what happened but then they melted into the kiss. After they broke it, Tari embraced Saiko in a hug which she returned.

"I love you, Saiko."

"I love you too, Tari."

And I hope everyone else has health insurance cause I think all their hearts melted.

Bob was in his dump of a home, downloading the visual novel that use to be Saiko's home.

"Stupid she's too good to have me for her wedding. I mean what did I ever do to her.? Besides treating her ex like crap...Or the whole rap career thing where I lied and used them all... or the countless robberies, muggings and murders... and making fun that she's getting married. But that's not banning someone from a wedding." As he ranted, the game finished downloading and he started it up. "I bet the other Waifu's in this piece of crap are way better then that bitch...Is that a child? No wait, she says shes 18...Lol, that hot piece of ass reminds of someone...BOOBIES. "


End file.
